Like is because, love is despite
Dear Future Husband,
I remember, once watching a movie a quote cropped up in a dialogue. I really liked the quote and penned it in my notes. It was both liberating and aspirational. The truth of the quote set something free and yet having not experienced it all, became the benchmark of what love ought to be.
Like is because, love is despite (Set it Up, 2018)
Soon enough I forgot the quote, and much later we met.
I know we took our time with each other.
It was infact, after a very long time I found myself in a space where I could be myself. There were neither any obligations nor any expectations, except one — that we are true to each other.
Not such a big thing to ask and yet so difficult when being vulnerable before hadn’t done us any good. I loved how patient we were with each other, and even still are (sometimes).
I remember in my past relationships, for however long they lasted, actions of the other person were so ambiguous that I used to incessantly look up “signs that he’s into you”, “signs he’s the one”, “signs…”. I went out to look for validation giving that person an infinite benefit of doubt, as though the boy is okay, but perhaps it’s my fault that I don’t understand his intention and it would be too rude or insensitive to even ask. So in that case, instead of falling back on my relationship to find strength, I was looking for clarity someplace else.
However the sad truth, albeit a liberating one is that drama that is a keeper is no drama at all.
And that is how I knew you were the One.
From the start, intentions were clear; there wasn’t any need to check for validation. Our relationship grew on the foundation of ease, joy, and lightness, that everything would feel as though it was meant to happen for all this time; as though everything upto that point transpired for this to happen.
There was a realization that all the emotional fears and insecurity that became the norm, were infact the biggest red flags of the relationships that didn’t work out.
With you, everything feels sound and secure. There is acceptance of the each other, just the way you are.
And, Universe has been kind.
Even when I forgot the quote, it has come full circle — for when I bumped into the quote again, I was brimming with joy for having found it all. You!
“You don’t love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.” — William Faulkner.
I love you,
Cheer
